Ebowlarama

Now that our fair and balanced media (I’m looking at you too liberal media) whipped us into a fear frenzy about Ebola in America it has fallen to me, one of the best read, most respected, dashingly handsome, and most humble of writers, to give an honest assessment of the situation.

No one seems to remember, but this isn’t the first time Ebola (named after the river commonly known as the Zaire) has visited the U.S. In 1990 (the virus was classified in 1976) some monkeys from the Philippines infected four people in Virginia and you guessed it, Texas. I’m starting to get the apocalypse sub culture there. None of them died, however it should be noted all infections occurred in quarantined facilities. Very different from today’s situation. That being said, since 1976 6,200 deaths have resulted from all Ebola infections world wide. While a tragic number let’s all take a deep breath and put it in perspective.

The CDC’s final death data (“Death Data” sounds like a doomy prog metal band) for 2010 goes like this:

Number of deaths in the U.S. 2010: 2,515,458

Infant Mortality rate: 6.07 deaths per 1,000 live births (meaning you have a better chance of dying being born than getting Ebola, and yet you are still here)

Percentages following are all deaths attributed to Ebola compared to listed cause. I remind you these death rates are for one year and one country, while the percentage represents all deaths caused by Ebola in the entire world over 42 years by comparison.

Heart disease: 596,577 (1.03926232489687%)

Cancer: 576,691 (1.075099143215344%)

Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 142,943 (4.337393226670771%)

Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 128,932 (4.808736388173611%)

Accidents (unintentional injuries): 126,438 (4.903589110868568%)

Alzheimer’s disease: 84,974 (7.296349471603078%)

Diabetes: 73,831 (8.397556581923581%)

Influenza and Pneumonia: 53,826 (11.518596960576673%)

Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome, and nephrosis: 45,591 (13.599175275821981%)

Intentional self-harm (suicide): 39,518 (15.689053089731262%)

So what do these numbers mean? I’m no mathematician but they speak pretty loud. Settle the f*** down. You have a better chance of dying by slipping in the shower, eating a cheese burger, or getting too much sun, in a single year than dying from Ebola in nearly a half century. Hell, you have a better chance of killing yourself on purpose than getting Ebola.

We do need to take this outbreak seriously and prep our hospitals. More importantly, if we are going to care so much about the spread, we need to send doctors, aid, and infrastructure to West Africa. If you express any concern about the disease, the U.S. and your personal well being should barely cross your mind.

Keep in mind if is on the news, it is the exception, not the rule. Not the norm. People aren’t interested in consistent truths, otherwise their would be a story about heroine deaths, homeless deaths, and overweight related deaths every day.

If you want to work yourself into a frenzy about preventable American deaths pick one actually threatening us. You should be more afraid of your car than Ebola.

Drive fast. Take chances. Thanks for reading.

-Danger

All info in this article is from the CDC website and my personal calculations.

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